Saturday, May 26, 2012
baby talk
There are 2 kinds of baby talk. The bad kind and the good kind. I'm all in favor of the good kind and the bad kind makes my stomach turn over.
Bad baby talk - when you talk to a baby/child in a sickly sweet voice and use non-english words and stupify the sentence into bad broken English. AHHH. it's sickening to listen to. Some person (on the TTC) of course started to talk to Pumpkin like that and she gave me a funny look and then asked the lady why she was talking funny. I nearly died laughing! There is a mother of a 2 year old that I look after that talked to her child in this kind of baby talk and I want to bang my head on the wall. The result? that's how he talks.
Good baby talk - repeating sounds that the baby is making. This encourages them and lets them know that they are making good sounds. I watch a 1 year old that I have been caring for since she was 3 months old. She's really started to use language lately. If she said "ah-baa-baa" I will repeat it just how she said it. This causes her to beam from ear to ear and giggle and then she will say another sound in her vocabulary. Last week she pointed to Pumpkin and tried to say her name - which is three syllables! "ah-baa-dee" was she the baby said, but that's pretty good for a 1 year old. Pumpkin turned around the look on the baby's face was priceless.
I talk to children and babies in the same tones and speech patterns that I talk to adults in. I my simplify my language so they can understand what I'm saying, but unless you talk properly to your child, how are they to learn proper speech patterns and vocabulary? they can't unless they are taught.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Dinosaurs
Boo LOVES dinosaurs. He knows their names, what they eat and if they were big or small. We have a box of toy dino's and they are played with daily.
Now the problem. We live in a creation VS evolution world. evolution is taught in school, but not creationism and so I'm left in the middle with more questions than I have answers. I firmly believe that God is responsible for creating the earth and the universe for that matter. But this have been a real challenge of my faith in regards to several aspects. Did God do it in 6 days? what is a day as defined in Genesis - taking into account that context can change meanings...so the word for day has several meanings like a 24 hour period or a length of time in relation to another length of time. If God created all things, then there were Dino's in the garden of Eden. Why did they go extinct but other animals who were around at the time didn't? What about the flood - were dino's on the arc? What about in the book of Job (chapter 40 near the end) an animal is described that sounds VERY much like an dino. (not to mention dragons and unicorns are in there too) I have found so much info that I feel like I'm on sensory overload and I'm trying to make sense of it all so that I can present the truth to my kids.
I bought a book called What Really Happened to the Dinosaurs and have found several other really good resources at Focus On The Family. Furthermore, a good friend of mine who has a blog does a bit called Think About It Thursday - Here is the link for her blog, and she has a lot of useful information.
We are called to cotinuously "work out our salvation" so this area needs working out. However, for the moment I only have 4 words: I don't really know.
Now the problem. We live in a creation VS evolution world. evolution is taught in school, but not creationism and so I'm left in the middle with more questions than I have answers. I firmly believe that God is responsible for creating the earth and the universe for that matter. But this have been a real challenge of my faith in regards to several aspects. Did God do it in 6 days? what is a day as defined in Genesis - taking into account that context can change meanings...so the word for day has several meanings like a 24 hour period or a length of time in relation to another length of time. If God created all things, then there were Dino's in the garden of Eden. Why did they go extinct but other animals who were around at the time didn't? What about the flood - were dino's on the arc? What about in the book of Job (chapter 40 near the end) an animal is described that sounds VERY much like an dino. (not to mention dragons and unicorns are in there too) I have found so much info that I feel like I'm on sensory overload and I'm trying to make sense of it all so that I can present the truth to my kids.
I bought a book called What Really Happened to the Dinosaurs and have found several other really good resources at Focus On The Family. Furthermore, a good friend of mine who has a blog does a bit called Think About It Thursday - Here is the link for her blog, and she has a lot of useful information.
We are called to cotinuously "work out our salvation" so this area needs working out. However, for the moment I only have 4 words: I don't really know.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
sometimes parenting sucks!
it really does. It sucks when I have to say no, or maybe later. It sucks when they break the rules and I have to administer discipline or there's a negative consequence. It sucks when they cry and are upset and I can't seem to comfort them....and they haven't even reached school age yet! that will bring a whole new level to "fun and drama".
I dislike the word "punishment". You punish criminals, not children. You discipline children - they are still learning, then need guidance and correction, not harshness.
In our house, they get a warning "that wasn't the right response - what do you think you should have done differently?" or sometimes I just tell them if they can't figure it out. And then I lay out a consequence if they choose to do it again. "if you choose to hit your brother on purpose again, you will go sit in time out for 4 minutes" or whatever other consequence, like deprivation of special things, like a tv show or a treat. I use 1 minute as per the age of the child and set a timer so there's no second guessing. If that STILL fails, then I resort to a spank. but I have rules for spanking:
1. they child MUST understand why/ why they are getting a spank. what they did wrong. etc. If they don't, it's only punishment and accomplishes nothing.
1. NEVER in public or in a way that will shame them. Again, it's not designed to hit and humiliate them...or else that's all they will learn how to do.
1. NEVER be angry when you spank. If you tell your child to learn to control their temper, then you better be able to control yours.
1. tell them then number of spanks they are going to get. I give 3 - always.
1. Pray and love. After they have been spanked, pray with them, tell them how much you love them.
Yes they are all labeled 1. because they are all equally important.
I also try not to yell. This demonstrates to my kids that I do not have control over myself, but then I tell them that they need to control themselves? doesn't work very well.
and lastly, I have 2 saying in my house that I use often:
"Listen and obey right away"
"the first time I say it, you obey it"
They have their own minds and will, thoughts and feelings and that isn't meant to be authoratative and controlling. But if I say, "ok, it's bed time, please go brush your teeth" - then I expect them to get up and brush their teeth. Or "we are going to eat lunch in 10 minutes, it's time to tidy up the toys" - then I expect them to tidy up. If they have an objection, then they need to ask "can I have 2 more minutes please" or "may I finish up this puzzle first?"
I try not to hinder their play unless they are engaging in something dangerous either to themselves or others. Boo Supermaning off the couch while there is a baby crawling on the floor is not the best idea. I have nothing against trying to be superman, just not around crawling infants.
Am I perfect? certainly not. I fail, I break some of these rules some times. I do my absolute best to be consistent as much of the time as possible and to make sure that my husband and I are on the same page. Pumpkin will ask him for something and he'll say no, and then she'll come ask me and I say "daddy said no, so I'm saying no too."
And even if I don't agree with the no - I will back him up (and he does likewise to me)....although sometimes I object in front of the kids (oops) but I'm pretty good at catching myself.
I dislike the word "punishment". You punish criminals, not children. You discipline children - they are still learning, then need guidance and correction, not harshness.
In our house, they get a warning "that wasn't the right response - what do you think you should have done differently?" or sometimes I just tell them if they can't figure it out. And then I lay out a consequence if they choose to do it again. "if you choose to hit your brother on purpose again, you will go sit in time out for 4 minutes" or whatever other consequence, like deprivation of special things, like a tv show or a treat. I use 1 minute as per the age of the child and set a timer so there's no second guessing. If that STILL fails, then I resort to a spank. but I have rules for spanking:
1. they child MUST understand why/ why they are getting a spank. what they did wrong. etc. If they don't, it's only punishment and accomplishes nothing.
1. NEVER in public or in a way that will shame them. Again, it's not designed to hit and humiliate them...or else that's all they will learn how to do.
1. NEVER be angry when you spank. If you tell your child to learn to control their temper, then you better be able to control yours.
1. tell them then number of spanks they are going to get. I give 3 - always.
1. Pray and love. After they have been spanked, pray with them, tell them how much you love them.
Yes they are all labeled 1. because they are all equally important.
I also try not to yell. This demonstrates to my kids that I do not have control over myself, but then I tell them that they need to control themselves? doesn't work very well.
and lastly, I have 2 saying in my house that I use often:
"Listen and obey right away"
"the first time I say it, you obey it"
They have their own minds and will, thoughts and feelings and that isn't meant to be authoratative and controlling. But if I say, "ok, it's bed time, please go brush your teeth" - then I expect them to get up and brush their teeth. Or "we are going to eat lunch in 10 minutes, it's time to tidy up the toys" - then I expect them to tidy up. If they have an objection, then they need to ask "can I have 2 more minutes please" or "may I finish up this puzzle first?"
I try not to hinder their play unless they are engaging in something dangerous either to themselves or others. Boo Supermaning off the couch while there is a baby crawling on the floor is not the best idea. I have nothing against trying to be superman, just not around crawling infants.
Am I perfect? certainly not. I fail, I break some of these rules some times. I do my absolute best to be consistent as much of the time as possible and to make sure that my husband and I are on the same page. Pumpkin will ask him for something and he'll say no, and then she'll come ask me and I say "daddy said no, so I'm saying no too."
And even if I don't agree with the no - I will back him up (and he does likewise to me)....although sometimes I object in front of the kids (oops) but I'm pretty good at catching myself.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Finally Twaddle Free!
It is with great pride and pleasure that I can finally say that we are now "Twaddle Free". If you are reading this and wondering "what on earth is twaddle?", it is dumbed down literature; absence of meaning. I'm not talking about books that are simple so children can understand them or are learning to read. I mean books that have no meat, no merit that are empty words strung on pages. I also gave away some disney stories. Pumpkin prefers the REAL stories as supposed to the re-told disney versions.
I would never buy twaddle books, however i was given a bunch of books and my kids got into them before I could go through and edit. Sadly there were a few that they really liked, but they had to go.
Our shelves are now stocked with "Living Books" - books that are well-written and engaging–they absorb the reader–the narrative and characters “come alive”; living books are the opposite of cold, dry textbooks. I actually had to edit our toy collection to make room for more books. About half the toys we own I would have ditched long ago, but because I run a home day care, I need toys that will entertain the wide age range I take care of. My kids aren't really into Little People anymore - they like to play with REAL animals - but the 11 month old I watch loves them!
In my extensive homeschool research I chose the Charlotte Mason philosophy. I saw this link for twaddle-free books listed by grade that was a great resource.
I would never buy twaddle books, however i was given a bunch of books and my kids got into them before I could go through and edit. Sadly there were a few that they really liked, but they had to go.
Our shelves are now stocked with "Living Books" - books that are well-written and engaging–they absorb the reader–the narrative and characters “come alive”; living books are the opposite of cold, dry textbooks. I actually had to edit our toy collection to make room for more books. About half the toys we own I would have ditched long ago, but because I run a home day care, I need toys that will entertain the wide age range I take care of. My kids aren't really into Little People anymore - they like to play with REAL animals - but the 11 month old I watch loves them!
In my extensive homeschool research I chose the Charlotte Mason philosophy. I saw this link for twaddle-free books listed by grade that was a great resource.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Casting Lots
Proverbs 18:18
Casting the lot settles disputes and keeps strong opponents apart.
"Casting Lots" is equal to flipping a coin, or drawing straws or rolling a dice or any number of other ways. Some may say it's gambling, but when used as in tended (with prayer and for the purpose of settling disputes) then it is righteous.
As we ALL know, kids fight over toys, books, who gets to go first, who's turn it is in the front seat etc. Yesterday was "one of those days" and my 2 children decided to fight over everything. VERY trying on my patience. (which I confess I did lose once)
Needless to say, I had had enough! As I was walking by the fridge, the "Brother Offend Check List" caught my eye. On the chart was the verse from Proverbs 18 as quoted above. So I made the kids a dice and explained the verse and said this was the new way to settle disputes or arguments. They are to roll the dice and who ever has the highest number get to go first and the other person gets the opportunity to practice patience and wait their turn. They really liked this idea.
Later in the day when they were fighting (again) over something, Pumpkin said "stop, we have to cast lots." Both kids walked over to the book shelf, got he dice and took turns rolling, Boo got to go first this time.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
The dirt under my finger nails
You see before you (starting closest to you) 6 raspberry plants, 2 blueberry bushes, 2 blackberry plants and 1 strawberry plant. I figure the strawberry play will span out quite a bit so i might not need more than 1. I still have to steak the raspberry plants, but there is plenty of time for that as they are not big enough yet to require steaks.
It was a big pain in the butt to rip up all the grass and shake - or beat) the soil from the roots. And I kept finding lumps of coal in the dirt.
The rocks are to protect the earth from the rain. That's the spot where the rain falls off the roof and hits the ground.
And of course, The pin wheel at the end. I had 2 of them but Matt broke the other one :( Good thing they are from the dollar store.
Next I have to tackle the back-yard along the fence. There we plan to plant some veggies that we like to eat. And I suspect that I will have an equally difficult time with the grass and I know I'll have an extra challenge with rocks. See how at the end of the photo is the driveway full of rocks? my property backs onto a parking lot full of rocks. so that might be a problem, but I won't know until I start digging.
Also along the side of the house I'm going to plant some herbs that I will bring inside for the winter so I can have fresh herbs all winter long. YUM!
You might remember that my kids planted some stuff in pots during the winter. I'm sad to report that Pumpkin was overzealous in watering them and consequently they died.
Monday, April 16, 2012
My Messiah Lives!
I watched numbly, looking up to the good and gentle man who hung on a
cross before me…He had been my friend. I thought he was the Messiah, the living
Son of God, who would save His people, like he had saved me. But I confess I
found myself doubting….there he was dying before my eyes. Why would he not save
himself? I didn’t understand. I felt such pain, grief and anger rip through my
soul I thought I would break.
The thief crucified next to Jesus turned to him. I strained to hear as
the man murmured, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your
kingdom."
Jesus' words to the condemned man echoed clearly across the hilltop:
"Today you will be with me in Paradise." A chill tingled down my
spine. Even at death, Jesus kept on forgiving. My thoughts surged back to the
first time I had met him and how my life was changed forever.
I grew up in a village along the Sea
of Galilee. I was wealthy yet I was unhappy.
I was no stranger to the oppression and torment of the demonic. Often
driven to compulsive, destructive acts, I despised myself, hated my deeds, but
couldn't seem to stop. I tried so hard, I called out to God in the middle of my
darkness to rescue me. Finally, my husband grew disgusted and impatient with my
erratic behaviour. He sent me back home to my father. I thought my life was
over until I heard of a man from Nazarene was teaching great things. My heart
leapt into my throat. Maybe he could help me!
The kingdom of God was right here, he said. He talked of forgiveness, of
cleansing, of wholeness. The sick and maimed were healed when he touched them.
God seemed to be all around. At Jesus' command demons would come out screaming,
and lives were liberated and transformed.
I felt strangely drawn to Him…yet there was this nameless terror raging
inside me. Could I trust Him? Dare I even try? What if he couldn’t help me?
What if he rejects me? I had to force myself to join the group that crowded
around Jesus. My turn came at last. I looked up in panic. He looked down in
love.
Then his eyes narrowed and seemed to pierce right into my soul. I
stepped back in fear. “Oh no! What have I done?” I thought. His words were hard: "Come out of her, you foul
demons, and let her go!" My body stiffened, my chest tightened. I thought
I would burst. I wanted to scream. And then it was over. My muscles began to
relax. I saw his gentle smile. "Mary, you're forgiven," he said,
"and you're free."
Free? I thought. Dare I even hope that might be true? Then I
realized that I was free! I felt so clean, so light, so renewed. I
wanted to dance, to sing. I jumped up and started hugging all the startled
women who stood nearby. I skipped home that night. Joy and peace consumed me.
An aching cry from the cross jerked me back to the present. My Lord was dying.
I listened through my tears. The voice that once proclaimed God's
kingdom on the hillsides of Galilee now shouted hoarsely, "It is
finished!" His head dropped to his chest.
Thunder clouds which had been gathering ominously all afternoon now
cracked. Lightning flashed across the gruesome hilltop. Jesus' body hung limp;
the others writhed. Around her she could hear the sobbing of Jesus' mourners.
She took one long last look, then buried her face and wept.
Whack! An ear-splitting scream from one of the thieves pierced the eerie
darkness. A soldier had shattered his legs with a club to make sure he died
before Sabbath began at sundown. Whack! Another scream.
They came to Jesus. Oh, no, dear God, spare him, I prayed. He's already
dead. The centurion knew, I could see, but to make sure, he motioned to a
soldier to thrust his spear into the Teacher's chest. Bloody water gushed out, and then slowed to a dribble for a
time. Surely, he was dead.
A soldier began to loosen the nail that fixed Jesus' feet to the cross.
Two others on ladders unlashed the crossbeam from the upright and carefully
lowered it -- Jesus' body still attached -- to their compatriots below. A
couple minutes more were needed to pull the spikes from splintered holes in the
crosspiece where countless other hands had bled.
Now I recognized Nicodemus who brought two new disciples. They were carrying a
stretcher onto which they lifted the body. In the courtyard outside the
sepulcher, I carefully washed the pale body, removing every trace of dried
blood from his mutilated back.
Night was falling. Nicodemus and the others worked quickly now, binding
the body with long strips of linen, enfolding what few spices they had with
them as they wrapped. Finally, they tenderly lay the body on a limestone niche
in the new tomb. I watched while they heaved the massive stone into place
across the opening to the tomb. It was dark when they turned to leave.
The Sabbath seemed to drag on endlessly. Despite the pain the thought
evoked, I determined to go back Sunday morning to finish anointing the Master's
body with spices. I owed him that.
Saturday's sun finally dipped below the mountains; Sabbath was over I hurried to the spice merchant's shop and pounded on the door until he
came downstairs and let me in. Spices for a burial, I insisted. No, I couldn't
wait till morning.
Sleep that night came in brief snatches. Long before sunrise, I was dressed to
meet two other women I’d asked to help me. Gray dawn streaked the sky as they set out. Hurrying along, I had
forgotten about the stone! Who will move it?
As we came in sight of the tomb, I gasped. The stone had already been
pushed aside. "Grave robbers!" I cried. "Can't they leave him
alone -- even in death?"
I ran and ran until I found Peter and John. "They've taken the
Lord's body out of the tomb," I said breathlessly. "We don't know
where they've put him!"
Peter and John took off sprinting. Too tired to run any farther, I
trudged slowly back to the garden tomb. I peered into the dank tomb.
Only coiled shroud-wrappings remained where the body had been. Suddenly, the dim tomb was
lit by the dazzling appearance of two men. Instinctively, I shielded my eyes from the brightness and bowed in terror. One of the angels spoke:
"Why do you seek the living among the dead?"
What does he mean? I wondered. What is he talking about?
"You seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He is not here, for
he has risen as he said."
I was dazed, even after the angels departed. Risen? I thought. How could
Jesus be alive? I had washed the corpse myself. Wasn't it just too good to be true? Could I cling to something this
wonderful only to have my hopes dashed once more?
But if it were true……. if it were true, then Jesus' whole life had
meaning. If it were true, then he was the Messiah after all. If it were
true, then the One who healed my tormented spirit had conquered death itself.
If it were true....
The sound of footsteps intruded on my thoughts. I glanced up. It must be
the caretaker, the gardener. He asked me why I was weeping and who I was
looking for. Didn't he know who had been buried here? I asked him to return the
body if he had taken it. I looked at the ground, struggling to hold back my
tears. He couldn’t help me. The only one who could help me was gone.
He reached out and lifted my chin until our eyes met. As I looked
through my tears, he said my name. My heart raced, my hair stood up on my arms.
Could it be? Oh! It WAS Him! I dropped to my knees and kissed his feet. Jesus,
my Lord was alive! Alive forever more! After a few moments, I looked up but He
had slipped away. I ran and told the disciples what had happened. They were
cynical and jeered at me “Sure, Mary…..why should the Lord appear to YOU anyway – a woman
and one with YOUR history no less?”
Why indeed? I thought. He appeared to His disciples later that same day…but He had chosen me
first! Maybe to show me that I was truly accepted. Maybe to calm my doubt.
Maybe to show that his forgiveness was forever. Why indeed? I was never sure. But this I did
know: My Messiah lives!
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Where is the reward in that?
I have had the opportunity to really embrace a few passages over the course of that last few months. To love your neighbour as yourself, to pray for those who persecute you and to show kindness/love to those who hate you. We live in that is called a Company House. That is a house that was built by the mining companies when the town I live in was a coal mining mining town. They are like mirror image town houses but they are not very sound proof. There is quite a bit of noise that passes through the walls, especially upstairs. I can hear when they turn on the radio or TV, when they open and close drawers in their kitchen and even hear them walking upstairs. They can likewise here noise from our side and with 2 active kids and a home-day care, there must be quite a bit of noise. 2 parents and their almost 20 year old son live next door. The mom told me how noisy it can be and I honestly had no idea - the houses in Toronto are much more sound proof so I just assumed this house was too. I apologized and immediately worked on lowering the noise level. This was appreciated and now the parents next door and I are on good terms.
The son is a different story. He is an only child and spoiled (the parents words - not mine) and he doesn't like kids. Also before we moved in our great-aunt pearl lived here and she is a sweet 93 year old women who obviously makes much less noise than a family of 4 or a home day care. Needless to say he was not impressed. We ad exchanged a few words before about keeping the kids off the gravel drive way (which I hate that we have) as it drives his mom nuts when it's disturbed. Fine - I can be accommodating to that. But kids break rules and he happened to be walking home when such an instance occurred and proceeded to yell at me and give me a piece of his mind, then tell me to get off his property before he calls the cops. I replied, I can stand here and listen to you or I can correct my children which I was about to do. Kids sometimes break rules. I will reprimand them and fix the gravel. This didn't satisfy him, so he called him mom at work, then came out and yelled at me again to get off his property (which I wasn't on). When the mom came home from work I went out to apologize and make sure that I have the right dividing line between out 2 lawns as her son didn't seem to think I did. I was indeed right and she said not to worry about it - kids break rules. In the middle of our conversation, the son comes out and starts yelling at me to stop harassing his mom. wow. She tells him off.
Not long after another problem arises. If the son thinks the noise level in the house is too loud, he would bang on the walls. This annoys me and scares the kids. Just before Christmas it gets really bad. I guess their room was beside his room or the office where he might study and he would bang on the wall as they were going to bed - and as we know kids don't always go to bed nicely - sometimes they resist. After about a week of this, they kids were terrified of going to bed because of the monster next door. I tried to explain what was going on, but they didn't really understand. One specific night it was ridiculous. I was only speak, and he would bang so loudly, the pictures on the wall would shake. That was it - I had had enough. His mom had asked me to talk to her if there was a problem, but she wasn't home, and this needed addressing. So I went next door to ask him to stop banging for about 20 minutes while I settle my kids to go to sleep, and then there would be quiet until the morning. Well - I have NEVER been spoken to in such a manner. Nothing but "piss and vinegar, venom and poison" came out of his mouth. He was obviously very angry and said a lot of nasty things. Replying to anything he said would be almost pointless. So I let him rant and vent. Then he threatened me, and my kids. To which I said, "threaten me again and I will call the police. I have broken no laws and what you are doing is called harassment. I suggest you watch what you say". That didn't make him happy and when he couldn't get a rise out of me and he ran out of things to say, he tried to provoke me. I simply said that when he's ready to have a conversation like an adult, to let me know. And with that I walked away. Put the kids in my bed to sleep - they were so scared that they went down right away. And then I burst into tears.
The mom came home, and I could hear them yelling. Someone knocked on my door, but I didn't answer.
The kids were scared, and I was angry. So what did I do and tell my kids to do? Pray. I said that we need to love others even if they don't love us back and we need to pray for those who are mean to us. So we pray for our neighbour and we show them kindness often. If the son and I cross paths, I will say hello (which is followed by a 'f*** off' from him) But if he wants to be in a bad mood, that's his problem, not mine.
And this isn't easy to do, but it's the right thing to do. If we only love those who love us back, where is the reward in that? And here is an opportunity to show the love of Christ by showing love.
The son is a different story. He is an only child and spoiled (the parents words - not mine) and he doesn't like kids. Also before we moved in our great-aunt pearl lived here and she is a sweet 93 year old women who obviously makes much less noise than a family of 4 or a home day care. Needless to say he was not impressed. We ad exchanged a few words before about keeping the kids off the gravel drive way (which I hate that we have) as it drives his mom nuts when it's disturbed. Fine - I can be accommodating to that. But kids break rules and he happened to be walking home when such an instance occurred and proceeded to yell at me and give me a piece of his mind, then tell me to get off his property before he calls the cops. I replied, I can stand here and listen to you or I can correct my children which I was about to do. Kids sometimes break rules. I will reprimand them and fix the gravel. This didn't satisfy him, so he called him mom at work, then came out and yelled at me again to get off his property (which I wasn't on). When the mom came home from work I went out to apologize and make sure that I have the right dividing line between out 2 lawns as her son didn't seem to think I did. I was indeed right and she said not to worry about it - kids break rules. In the middle of our conversation, the son comes out and starts yelling at me to stop harassing his mom. wow. She tells him off.
Not long after another problem arises. If the son thinks the noise level in the house is too loud, he would bang on the walls. This annoys me and scares the kids. Just before Christmas it gets really bad. I guess their room was beside his room or the office where he might study and he would bang on the wall as they were going to bed - and as we know kids don't always go to bed nicely - sometimes they resist. After about a week of this, they kids were terrified of going to bed because of the monster next door. I tried to explain what was going on, but they didn't really understand. One specific night it was ridiculous. I was only speak, and he would bang so loudly, the pictures on the wall would shake. That was it - I had had enough. His mom had asked me to talk to her if there was a problem, but she wasn't home, and this needed addressing. So I went next door to ask him to stop banging for about 20 minutes while I settle my kids to go to sleep, and then there would be quiet until the morning. Well - I have NEVER been spoken to in such a manner. Nothing but "piss and vinegar, venom and poison" came out of his mouth. He was obviously very angry and said a lot of nasty things. Replying to anything he said would be almost pointless. So I let him rant and vent. Then he threatened me, and my kids. To which I said, "threaten me again and I will call the police. I have broken no laws and what you are doing is called harassment. I suggest you watch what you say". That didn't make him happy and when he couldn't get a rise out of me and he ran out of things to say, he tried to provoke me. I simply said that when he's ready to have a conversation like an adult, to let me know. And with that I walked away. Put the kids in my bed to sleep - they were so scared that they went down right away. And then I burst into tears.
The mom came home, and I could hear them yelling. Someone knocked on my door, but I didn't answer.
The kids were scared, and I was angry. So what did I do and tell my kids to do? Pray. I said that we need to love others even if they don't love us back and we need to pray for those who are mean to us. So we pray for our neighbour and we show them kindness often. If the son and I cross paths, I will say hello (which is followed by a 'f*** off' from him) But if he wants to be in a bad mood, that's his problem, not mine.
And this isn't easy to do, but it's the right thing to do. If we only love those who love us back, where is the reward in that? And here is an opportunity to show the love of Christ by showing love.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
I'm Telling.......
I hear this in my house mostly from Pumpkin. So I made up this chart to help her know when she's reporting and when she's tattling. (i made the picture really big so you could read the words). It has thus far proven to be a good tool.
The amazing power of prayer
Like her mother, Pumpkin has motion sickness. It was really bad when I was a child and seems to have diminished over time. I still feel sick on long car rides, on the GO train and TTC and when flying, but I no longer toss my cookies. To drive into the nearest town is about a 30 minute drive, so I usually save up my errands and run a bunch of them at once so I don't have to go very often. When we drive into town (until recently) Pumpkin has either cried the whole way there and back that her tummy hurts, or she actually throws up. I had to take a plastic bag with my on the TTC every day because she was sure to thrown up too.
Giving her regular gravol every time I need to go on longish car rides is not an option. A friend pointed me in the direction of the organic ginger gravol which is perfectly fine for her to take. The problem is that the first time she took it, she chewed it. That's like taking a piece of raw ginger and taking a bit, like you would bite an apple. EW! it's a VERY strong taste. Next time I ground it up and put it in honey. Better, but she still had a melt down.
Yesterday we took Boo into town because it was it birthday. So after 30 minutes of her melting down over it, I decided to try a new tactic - Prayer. In the middle of my kitchen, I sat with Pumpkin and we prayed for her tummy to "be safe and not get sick" (her words) while we were in the car today. God answered her prayer and she wasn't sick at all then entire day.
Once we got home, I reminded her that her tummy hadn't hurt the entire time and then we prayed again to thank God for answering her prayer.
It was just a small thing, but to her it was amazing that the God of the "whole world is protecting my little tummy in the car"
Amen.
Giving her regular gravol every time I need to go on longish car rides is not an option. A friend pointed me in the direction of the organic ginger gravol which is perfectly fine for her to take. The problem is that the first time she took it, she chewed it. That's like taking a piece of raw ginger and taking a bit, like you would bite an apple. EW! it's a VERY strong taste. Next time I ground it up and put it in honey. Better, but she still had a melt down.
Yesterday we took Boo into town because it was it birthday. So after 30 minutes of her melting down over it, I decided to try a new tactic - Prayer. In the middle of my kitchen, I sat with Pumpkin and we prayed for her tummy to "be safe and not get sick" (her words) while we were in the car today. God answered her prayer and she wasn't sick at all then entire day.
Once we got home, I reminded her that her tummy hadn't hurt the entire time and then we prayed again to thank God for answering her prayer.
It was just a small thing, but to her it was amazing that the God of the "whole world is protecting my little tummy in the car"
Amen.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
one a penny, two a penny.......
Money management is something that I have only just recently got a handle on how to properly handle my money. That is learning experience I can save (or try to save) my children. Now that they are are old enough (and almost old enough) to understand the concept of money and how it works, I thought of how I could start teaching them about money management. First of all, when they ask for something, I always make a reference to our budget. If we're in the grocery store and they ask for something, I show them my shopping list, how much project I will spend and how much room I have put in the monthly budget for food. Then I explain that I have room or that I don't have room to grant their request. That brings up questions like, what is a budget? how does it work? And that's a great starting point. But now I want to drive it home a bit more. Every week I have been giving them chump change to put into the collection plate. God gives us everything, so it's only right that we give some of it back. To help me teach them I bought a book called The ABC's of Handling Money God's Way. They also each have the Magnetic Responsibility Charts from Melissa & Doug where they can learn about responsibility, working with the family as a team to accomplish goals (be they the dishes or putting toys away). I can use this to help them earn their allowance that I will soon implement. By achieving a certain amount of magnets, the can earn some money. Then I will help them divide the money into 3 jars. 1 jar for Tithe, 1 jar to Save and 1 Jar to Spend. I just went to the dollar store and bought some jars and used the label inside to make a label for their intended use.
My prayer is that this will make good money management a habit so that when they get older and are entrusted with more money, and get jobs that they will know what the right and proper thing to do is and hopefully they won't find themselves in debt.
We (being being the parents) have also changed out tune on money. If we don't have the money for it up front (baring an emergency) then we don't buy it. We save for it and then buy it. That way we can be a living example as well.
oh - so you don't have a real job then
I was recently talking to someone from my old stomping ground in Toronto who was asking what I do work work out here. I said I stay at home with my kids and I look after a few others as well during the day.
"oh - so you don't have a real job then."
Excuse me? don't have a real job? Ok....for all those who think that staying home with kids is soooo easy, let me paint a picture of an average day for me. Average meaning in the middle. I will have better and worse days then I describe. Some days are insane and I want to pull my hair out and some days are so easy it's laughable.
A typical day.
starts at about 2 or 3am when one of my kids comes into my bed. (usually Boo)
by 4 or 5 the other one is in bed and I fitfully sleep while I get jabbed or kicked with some limb of one of them while my hubby usually is snoring through the whole thing. Sometimes he takes one and hugs them and they fall soundly back asleep.
by 6am I've given up on sleeping, so I get up and get dressed etc.
Then kids will either wake up with me then or shortly there after and ask for breakfast. After they have changed their mind a million times, they still can't agree. I give up and cook 2 different breakfasts. They don't usually finish their whole breakfast, so I eat what they don't eat and wash up the dishes.
Then we get dressed. They pick their clothes and put them on. Pumpkin will change her mind a few more time and I have to tell her to put all the clothes away that she doesn't want to wear and no they do not need to go in the laundry hamper.
Teeth get brushed and I fight with pumpkin to let me brush her hair.
at 7am we read some books or play a game or do some puzzles. If I'm super tired, then I put on a veggie tales for them while I read my bible and try to catch at least 5 minutes to pray.
by 8am the first 2 kids I look after have arrived, the 10 month old and the 6 year old.
8:30 the 2 year old arrives and we all go for a walk to take the 6 year old to school and walk back.
The 2 year old cries the whole time for her mommy
I have to harness Boo and the 2 year old together while I push the 10 month old in the stroller and pumpkin and the 6 year old walk. Once we arrive home, we have snack time and then we go back out side or play in the living room with whatever. There is usually at least 1 fight over a toy. the 2 year old is still crying. Can't get her to stop unless I constantly make her the center of my attention.
10am the other 2 year old arrives. He runs off and grabs the first toy and yells MINE at the of his lunges.
Boo has to pee but he completely misses the toilet . I gotta clean that up. then I have to change diapers.
Next we do calendar time and read some books.
at 10:30 I need to cook lunch so I tell the kids to pick up all the toys - this takes about 30 minutes as they get distracted and start playing. I run back and forth between then kitchen and the living room, cooking and reminding them to clean up. and the 10 month old is screaming because i put her down...and she's cutting teeth.
11 we all sit down to eat. I feed the baby taking mouth fulls in between.
11:30 everyone either naps or has quiet time. Pumpkin and Boo have out grown their naps so we play quietly in the kitchen while the baby sleeps upstairs and the other 2 nap on the couches.
Lunch and AM snack dishes get cleaned up.
a moment of peace.
by 1:30 everyone is up. diapers are changed and we get dressed to walk back to the school to pick up the 6 year old. the two 2 year olds and Boo get harnessed together, 10 month old goes back in the stroller and off we go.
Once we return, we play outside in the back yard a bit. The first 2 year old, just stands there. everyone else runs around.
at 3 we come in and have another snack, pick-nick style in the living room. why not?
Then more free play. more fights over toys and books.
by 4pm the 10 month old and one of the 2 year olds are gone. by 4:30 the other 2 year old is gone. and by 5:30 the 6 year old is gone.
Boo and pumpkin help me cook supper and eat.
at 6:30 we usually go for a walk. once we are back, they have a bath and we read books, then it's off to bed. And that is usually a battle that takes about 20 minutes for me to win.
by 8:30 they are sleeping in bed. I'm back down stairs to clean up dishes and sweep (again) and mop the floor, vacuum the carpet and tidy up. by 9:15 my work is finished and I can finally take a shower. 9:30 my hubby comes home and I fix his supper and talk with him while he eats. now it's 10pm and after washing up (again) I can finally get to do what I want to do.
Oh wait....I'm usually too tired, so I go to bed for 4 hours of solid sleep until Boo comes into bed at about 2 or 3 am.
And if that doesn't sound like work, then I donno what is!
pulling my hair out
This is what I look like right now.
I'm having one of those days where I want to just lock myself in the bathroom...or go back to bed and stay there...or go out for a very loooooooong walk (yes even in the snow and cold)
This is a venting post - I need to put my frustration somewhere, and my hubby is at work so I can't talk to him.
I run a home day care and normally my days are pretty good. There are a few moments that are challenging, but that's to be expected. But today takes the cake.
Boo is on one of his rampages and feels the need to be naughty and pull everything off the shelves, or empty the pantry and pull out all the pots and pans, or fight constantly with his sister.
Pumpkin is having a bad day too and feels the need to argue over EVERYTHING. she's spent a lot of time in time out today.
That alone is enough to try my patience (which happens to be particularly thin today) I'm NOT having a good day displaying the fruits of the spirit. I'm not being very gentle in my speech and I've lost my temper once or twice.
The 2 year old I look after has literally been crying since they were dropped off at 8:30 this morning. And not just sulking or sniffling...I mean full out crying her eyes out....to the point where she puked she was crying so hard. she will cry until after her nap and is only happy the last hour or so of the day. The problem is that I can't do anything to get her to stop. I've tried every trick in the book short of bribing her to stop (which I will not do) as soon as I stop making her the center of my attention she is back at the crying at the top of her lungs.
I pray that a nap will improve her and that I can regain my focus.
I'm having one of those days where I want to just lock myself in the bathroom...or go back to bed and stay there...or go out for a very loooooooong walk (yes even in the snow and cold)
This is a venting post - I need to put my frustration somewhere, and my hubby is at work so I can't talk to him.
I run a home day care and normally my days are pretty good. There are a few moments that are challenging, but that's to be expected. But today takes the cake.
Boo is on one of his rampages and feels the need to be naughty and pull everything off the shelves, or empty the pantry and pull out all the pots and pans, or fight constantly with his sister.
Pumpkin is having a bad day too and feels the need to argue over EVERYTHING. she's spent a lot of time in time out today.
That alone is enough to try my patience (which happens to be particularly thin today) I'm NOT having a good day displaying the fruits of the spirit. I'm not being very gentle in my speech and I've lost my temper once or twice.
The 2 year old I look after has literally been crying since they were dropped off at 8:30 this morning. And not just sulking or sniffling...I mean full out crying her eyes out....to the point where she puked she was crying so hard. she will cry until after her nap and is only happy the last hour or so of the day. The problem is that I can't do anything to get her to stop. I've tried every trick in the book short of bribing her to stop (which I will not do) as soon as I stop making her the center of my attention she is back at the crying at the top of her lungs.
I pray that a nap will improve her and that I can regain my focus.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
The 12 Days of Easter
I was asked to do an object lesson about Easter at a faith-based program run through my church. Having taught Sunday school only twice in my life, I wasn't sure where to start. Finally I thought of Resurrection Eggs. You can buy them and they come with a book etc. However, they are just as easy to make and ask your own comprehension questions and print out a free colouring page or two. Or make play-doh and have them sculpt a tomb or any number of other things.
You need an egg carton, 12 of those hollow plastic eggs you can get at the dollerstore and everything else you probably have at home or can easily make.
One could make this the 12 days of Easter - like we have the 12 days of Christmas - and each day do an egg and a related activity or colour page
Additionally, you can make a "tree" out of various branches and stick them in a flower pot with some dirt and either hang up or put at the foot of the "tree" the various objects form each egg.
Additionally, you can make a "tree" out of various branches and stick them in a flower pot with some dirt and either hang up or put at the foot of the "tree" the various objects form each egg.
While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to His disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.” (Matt 26:26)
Activity: Bake bread or do a family communion
SILVER COINS
Then one of the Twelve – the one called Judas-went to the chief priests and asked “what are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty silver coins. From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over. (Matt 26:14-15)
Activity: look at different kinds of silver coins and study their differences. Maybe design your own coin face.
Or go to a store and see what you can get for 50 silver coins
PURPLE CLOTH
The soldiers put a purple robe on Him… (Mark 15:17)
Activity: Make a paper doll and purple robe for it.
THORNS
The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head (Matt 27:29)
Activity: study different plants that have thorns. Draw some pictures of them.
ROPE
Wanting to satisfy the crowd, Pilate released Barabbas to them. He had Jesus flogged and handed him over to be crucified (Mark 15:15)
Activity: make rope by winding and weaving different strings together.
CROSS
Carrying his own cross, he went out to the place of the Skull. Here they crucified him… (John 19:17-18a)
Activity: find some sticks and make a cross
NAILS
This man was handed over to you by God’s set purpose and foreknowledge and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross (Acts 2:23)
Activity: Nail some nails into wood to see how difficult that task can be
SIGN
“You are King then” said Pilate….So Pilate had a notice prepared and fastened to the cross. It read : Jesus of Nazareth, the King of the Jews.
Activity: Have them make a sign and write out Pilate's message in Greek, Latin and Aramaic
SPONGE
Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge. He filled it with wine vinegar, put it on a stick, and offered it to Jesus to drink (Mark 27:48)
Activity: Take several sponges and liquids and have the sponge absord them. They try drinking from teh sponge.
RECEIPT
For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from you forefathers. (1 Peter 3:18)
Activity: study a grocery receipt and count at all that perishable items on it.
ROCK
Joseph took the body wrapped it in a clean linen cloth and placed it in his own new tomb that he had cut out of the rock. He rolled a big stone in front of the entrance to the tomb and went away. (Matt 27:59-60)
Activity: study various kinds of rocks
EMPTY
He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come see the place where he lay. (Matt 28:6)
Activity: with play-doh, make an empty tomb
Friday, March 16, 2012
Audience of One
A month or so ago, a gentleman sang a solo at my church. It lyrics were moving and the melody was beautiful. From PURELY a musical stand point, it didn't really sound the best I've every heard. Notes were missed, timing was off. But MAN was it moving. That man left his heart at the feet of Jesus for all to see. He sang like no one but the Lord was listening.
Last week I sang a song at church. I had a horrible soar throat and I couldn't even talk when I had gotten up that morning. But my voice came back (sort of). I stood before the congregation and for a moment I felt unqualified to sing that morning. The song I had chosen wasn't really in a key I was super comfortable with. I actually had to sing it in a lower key then i had been practicing in because there was no way my voice was going to go that high nicely. Talking hurt, forget singing and I didn't want to sound bad.
But sound bad to whom? myself? I already knew that I wouldn't be singing up to my standard. The congregation? except for those who happen to sit near me, no one had really heard me sing - not even the Pastors.
Then I thought of the man. He probably knew that he didn't sound like he once used to. He knew that he probably wouldn't hit every note. But the beauty was that he didn't really seem to care. He was singing for only an audience of One.
So I told my foolish pride to get lost. I pretended that no one was watching me, that I was standing just before God and I sang Him a song - How Beautiful - and that's all that mattered. I missed a few notes I'm sure, and I missed the timing in one spot. But none of that mattered. I know that by being humble, that by saying "here I am, take me as you find me, all y fear, failures, sin and use me to show Your glory" that that is exactly what He did.
Last week I sang a song at church. I had a horrible soar throat and I couldn't even talk when I had gotten up that morning. But my voice came back (sort of). I stood before the congregation and for a moment I felt unqualified to sing that morning. The song I had chosen wasn't really in a key I was super comfortable with. I actually had to sing it in a lower key then i had been practicing in because there was no way my voice was going to go that high nicely. Talking hurt, forget singing and I didn't want to sound bad.
But sound bad to whom? myself? I already knew that I wouldn't be singing up to my standard. The congregation? except for those who happen to sit near me, no one had really heard me sing - not even the Pastors.
Then I thought of the man. He probably knew that he didn't sound like he once used to. He knew that he probably wouldn't hit every note. But the beauty was that he didn't really seem to care. He was singing for only an audience of One.
So I told my foolish pride to get lost. I pretended that no one was watching me, that I was standing just before God and I sang Him a song - How Beautiful - and that's all that mattered. I missed a few notes I'm sure, and I missed the timing in one spot. But none of that mattered. I know that by being humble, that by saying "here I am, take me as you find me, all y fear, failures, sin and use me to show Your glory" that that is exactly what He did.
Crouching Carrot, Hidden Potato
Last night, the kids were playing in the kitchen and the pantry...nothing unusual about that. So we had our normal bed time routine and went to bed. In the morning as I was doing a few chores I didn't do the night before, I started to notice potatoes and carrots in odd places...like the utensil drawer, in pots, in among the books, even wrapped in some doll clothes. It was very funny.
I guess this is pay back. I used to hid all the potatoes when I was little too.
I guess this is pay back. I used to hid all the potatoes when I was little too.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Our Tree Of Life
It's not the most glamorous looking tree, but the fruit of this tree will be our new theme at home. We will be focusing on The Fruits of the Spirit as found in Galatians 5 22 - 23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Every time a situation starts to escalate in a negative way, I will stop and remind my kids of the tree. And, every time a situation starts to escalate in a positive way, I will stop and praise my kids for bearing good fruit.
This tree is not only for my kids, but for me as well. The more you parent you children the more accountable you must be. If I expect my children to act a certain way, then I had best be able to give them a living example. I fully expect Pumpkin at some point to quite the tree at me in a moment of weakness.
I am looking forward to the challenge of becoming a better person for my husband, for my kids and for myself. I'm also curious to see how this will positively affect my children.
We had fun making the tree. Patience and gentleness was the overtone. Pumpkin had to be patient as she trued to colour in the lines. As you can see blow, I had to be patience with Boo and remember to be gentle when he decided to colour himself instead of the apples....
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Every time a situation starts to escalate in a negative way, I will stop and remind my kids of the tree. And, every time a situation starts to escalate in a positive way, I will stop and praise my kids for bearing good fruit.
This tree is not only for my kids, but for me as well. The more you parent you children the more accountable you must be. If I expect my children to act a certain way, then I had best be able to give them a living example. I fully expect Pumpkin at some point to quite the tree at me in a moment of weakness.
I am looking forward to the challenge of becoming a better person for my husband, for my kids and for myself. I'm also curious to see how this will positively affect my children.
We had fun making the tree. Patience and gentleness was the overtone. Pumpkin had to be patient as she trued to colour in the lines. As you can see blow, I had to be patience with Boo and remember to be gentle when he decided to colour himself instead of the apples....
Saturday, March 3, 2012
on a budget
Every week I look in the flyers, make a meal plan and a shopping list. i even clip coupons when I can. I do I quick guess of how much each item will cost, or how much I'm willing to spend on certain items, like meat. I leave a little bunker room just in case I end up going over on something.
I usually take my kids with me (which can be it's own adventure!) I avoid certain isles if I can, or pull the cart just inside the isle and then run up to get what I need. I can bank on my kids asking "mommy, can we get this?" Sometimes it's junk like cookies or ice cream. Sometimes it's healthy stuff, like hummus or fruit. Regardless of what it is, I will say either "that's not in the budget" or "Let me see if there is room in the budget for that".
Pumpkin, my 5 year old, asks "what's a budget?". I tell her that we work to ear money and that money pays for things like electricity and oil and water and our house and food - so we need to make sure that money in is more than money out and we can't spend more than we make. I allot a certain amount of money each week for food and I need to stick to that amount, so I make a list and price things out to make sure.
Then I pull out the cash and explain that this is money and once it's gone it's gone, so I need to spend it carefully and that's why I sometimes have room for extra things, and sometimes not.
We were looking at BBQ's (we will be buying one this summer) and Pumpkin was asking why we couldn't just buy it now. I said that for bigger items or items that cost more money, we need to save up. So we have to exercise patience. If we don't have the money for it at the time, then we won't buy it (unless it was an emergency - like when our washing machine broke.)
I hope that by teaching her about money smarts she will avoid some mistakes that I made because no one taught me how to manage my money.
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