baby talk

There are 2 kinds of baby talk.  The bad kind and the good kind.  I'm all in favor of the good kind and the bad kind makes my stomach turn over.

Bad baby talk - when you talk to a baby/child in a sickly sweet voice and use non-english words and stupify the sentence into bad broken English. AHHH.  it's sickening to listen to.  Some person (on the TTC) of course started to talk to Pumpkin like that and she gave me a funny look and then asked the lady why she was talking funny.  I nearly died laughing!  There is a mother of a 2 year old that I look after that talked to her child in this kind of baby talk and I want to bang my head on the wall.  The result? that's how he talks.

Good baby talk - repeating sounds that the baby is making.  This encourages them and lets them know that they are making good sounds.  I watch a 1 year old that I have been caring for since she was 3 months old.  She's really started to use language lately.  If she said "ah-baa-baa"  I will repeat it just how she said it.  This causes her to beam from ear to ear and giggle and then she will say another sound in her vocabulary.  Last week she pointed to Pumpkin and tried to say her name - which is three syllables!  "ah-baa-dee" was she the baby said, but that's pretty good for a 1 year old.  Pumpkin turned around the look on the baby's face was priceless.

I talk to children and babies in the same tones and speech patterns that I talk to adults in.  I my simplify my language so they can understand what I'm saying, but unless you talk properly to your child, how are they to learn proper speech patterns and vocabulary?  they can't unless they are taught.

Dinosaurs

Boo LOVES dinosaurs.  He knows their names, what they eat and if they were big or small.  We have a box of toy dino's and they are played with daily.

Now the problem.  We live in a creation VS evolution world.  evolution is taught in school, but not creationism and so I'm left in the middle with more questions than I have answers.  I firmly believe that God is responsible for creating the earth and the universe for that matter.  But this have been a real challenge of my faith in regards to several aspects.  Did God do it in 6 days? what is a day as defined in Genesis - taking into account that context can change meanings...so the word for day has several meanings like  a 24 hour period or a length of time in relation to another length of time.  If God created all things, then there were Dino's in the garden of Eden.  Why did they go extinct but other animals who were around at the time didn't?  What about the flood - were dino's on the arc?  What about in the book of Job (chapter 40 near the end) an animal is described that sounds VERY much like an dino. (not to mention dragons and unicorns are in there too)  I have found so much info that I feel like I'm on sensory overload and I'm trying to make sense of it all so that I can present the truth to my kids.

I bought a book called What Really Happened to the Dinosaurs and have found several other really good resources at Focus On The Family.  Furthermore, a good friend of mine who has a blog does a bit called Think About It Thursday - Here is the link for her blog, and she has a lot of useful information.

We are called to cotinuously "work out our salvation" so this area needs working out.  However, for the moment I only have 4 words: I don't really know.

sometimes parenting sucks!

it really does.  It sucks when I have to say no, or maybe later.  It sucks when they break the rules and I have to administer discipline or there's a negative consequence.  It sucks when they cry and are upset and I can't seem to comfort them....and they haven't even reached school age yet!  that will bring a whole new level to "fun and drama".

I dislike the word "punishment".  You punish criminals, not children.  You discipline children - they are still learning, then need guidance and correction, not harshness.

In our house, they get a warning "that wasn't the right response - what do you think you should have done differently?" or sometimes I just tell them if they can't figure it out.  And then I lay out a consequence if they choose to do it again. "if you choose to hit your brother on purpose again, you will go sit in time out for 4 minutes" or whatever other consequence, like deprivation of special things, like a tv show or a treat. I use 1 minute as per the age of the child and set a timer so there's no second guessing.  If that STILL fails, then I resort to a spank.  but I have rules for spanking:
1. they child MUST understand why/  why they are getting a spank. what they did wrong. etc.  If they don't, it's only punishment and accomplishes nothing.
1. NEVER in public or in a way that will shame them. Again, it's not designed to hit and humiliate them...or else that's all they will learn how to do.
1. NEVER be angry when you spank.  If you tell your child to learn to control their temper, then you better be able to control yours.
1. tell them then number of spanks they are going to get.  I give 3 - always.
1. Pray and love.  After they have been spanked, pray with them, tell them how much you love them.

Yes they are all labeled 1. because they are all equally important.

I also try not to yell.  This demonstrates to my kids that I do not have control over myself, but then I tell them that they need to control themselves?  doesn't work very well.

and lastly, I have 2 saying in my house that I use often:
"Listen and obey right away"
"the first time I say it, you obey it"

They have their own minds and will, thoughts and feelings and that isn't meant to be authoratative and controlling.  But if I say, "ok, it's bed time, please go brush your teeth" - then I expect them to get up and brush their teeth.  Or "we are going to eat lunch in 10 minutes, it's time to tidy up the toys" - then I expect them to tidy up.  If they have an objection, then they need to ask "can I have 2 more minutes please" or "may I finish up this puzzle first?"

 I try not to hinder their play unless they are engaging in something dangerous either to themselves or others.  Boo Supermaning off the couch while there is a baby crawling on the floor is not the best idea. I have nothing against trying to be superman, just not around crawling infants.

Am I perfect? certainly not.  I fail, I break some of these rules some times.    I do my absolute best to be consistent as much of the time as possible and to make sure that my husband and I are on the same page.  Pumpkin will ask him for something and he'll say no, and then she'll come ask me and I say "daddy said no, so I'm saying no too."
And even if I don't agree with the no - I will back him up (and he does likewise to me)....although sometimes I object in front of the kids (oops) but I'm pretty good at catching myself.

Finally Twaddle Free!

It is with great pride and pleasure that I can finally say that we are now "Twaddle Free".  If you are reading this and wondering "what on earth is twaddle?", it is dumbed down literature; absence of meaning.  I'm not talking about books that are simple so children can understand them or are learning to read.  I mean books that have no meat, no merit that are empty words strung on pages.  I also gave away some disney stories.  Pumpkin prefers the REAL stories as supposed to the re-told disney versions.

I would never buy twaddle books, however i was given a bunch of books and my kids got into them before I could go through and edit.  Sadly there were a few that they really liked, but they had to go.

Our shelves are now stocked with "Living Books" - books that are well-written and engaging–they absorb the reader–the narrative and characters “come alive”; living books are the opposite of cold, dry textbooks.  I actually had to edit our toy collection to make room for more books.  About half the toys we own I would have ditched long ago, but because I run a home day care, I need toys that will entertain the wide age range I take care of.  My kids aren't really into Little People anymore - they like to play with REAL animals - but the 11 month old I watch loves them!

In my extensive homeschool research I chose the Charlotte Mason philosophy.  I saw this link for twaddle-free books listed by grade that was a great resource.